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Ich behaupte manchmal das Kind wäre nach einem The Roots Konzert gezeugt worden und hätte deshalb eigentlich „Rock’n’Roll“ heißen müssen. (Den Joke verstehen jetzt nur Leute, die den passenden Song kennen, macht aber nichts). Eigentlich gar nicht so abwegig, bedenkt mensch wieviel mir Musik bedeutet… Pause. Audiospur 1 aus *klick* Audiospur 2 an:

When it comes to music, books and visual arts I’m old school. I want to hold something in my hand, flip through pages, put on a record….  so the past few days I have been reading Ahmir QUESTLOVE Thompson’s Autobiography Mo‘ Meta Blues and it felt like time traveling. In fact it gave me ALL the feels and that caught me by surprise. I’m a huge Questlove fan so I was looking forward to the book, but I did not expect that it took me back to those old feelings and made me miss them.  In 1995 I was only just 10 years old and I actively started listening to r&b & hip hop around 97 & turned into a soul fan soon afterwards….well, actually that’s not even true. I remember buying TLC’s & Janet’s album some time before that, since my elder cousins used to watch MTV at my grandmas house and I loved the Waterfalls video and I think what must have been the That’s the way love goes video… anyway. The music brought me through/ helped me survive my adolescence (I spare you the detailed stories of what and who and when I listened to) …

With the music came the interest for the (hi)story of the people that made the music and I ended up reading Malcolm X Autobiography and whatever other books I found (I’m not sure why that book stands out at the moment and I can’t name the others). Me being the shy white middle class girl with good grades I was. I’m sure there is/ was something racist about my fascination for this „other world“ and I have yet to figure out a way to deal with it. I always felt that I belonged more into that world, than the one i was in. Which is probably  a f*cking slap in the face for anyone who experiences racism and whatever other forms of discrimination I don’t experience, after all, as i said, I’m a spoiled white girl. 

Time has passed and I am now all loud and angry and mother of a soon to be 8 year old …and music surely played it’s part there, but I lost touch of it. At first I wasn’t sure if I liked or despised the flashbacks the book gave me but  I decided that i do love them. They gave me energy & I think reminded me of the good things that used to be important to me but which I have neglected the past years. Questlove’s writing made me realize that I do like my life the way it is at this point – I’m more aware of the world and me and the problems we both have – but that I also miss the relationship I had with music back in the late 90’s and early 00’s. I miss the quiet times when i would sit back and just listen or read or paint without distraction from the outside world and i think it’s time I get some of this back… (how and why this still will be different from the past is the content of another text that has yet to be written)

 

 

kleines update: arte hat dieses Jahr wieder einen Summer of Soul, online wie auch on air volles Programm, und ich flippe gerade ein bißchen aus deswegen ♥

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